Friday, May 14, 2010

Emergency Venting Session

So, I think that I have maxed out my stress card - 2010 really hasn't been a great year for me, especially not for my family. I have seen four family members pass away and to many people's surprise, it doesn't get any easier. The last two have been particularly hard because they were two weeks away from each other and one was very unexpected. I will miss my Aunt Cynthia and I will miss my grandmother just the same. I was very close to both of them...very close. As an adult, I can understand that death is inevitable for us all and we musn't dwell on it too much, but the thought of it still stings...

I am thankful that I found the strength to not only get through all of my finals, but do very well because I was already really stressed out this semester with the course load I had. The fact that I did well on them is something to be thankful for in the midst of all that is going on.

I found a way to alleviate some of the stress I was having about graduate schools. I didn't get into the schools I wanted, unfortunately, so instead of going to my safe schools, I've decided to take some time off after I finish undergrad this summer, reevaluate some things, and start back full-throttle and get new applications in for early decision this fall.

I also feel the need to cut my social life in half. I'm not one to spread myself too thin and I feel like I need to invest more energy into recuperating my soul and not wasting energy on routine bar adventures. I feel like my life has become disorganized because I've been stressing too much about that the future that I allowed my present to unravel.

First orders of business include but are not limited to the following: regulating my sleeping schedule, getting back into shape and building up my cariorespiratory endurance, reading at least half of the books I bought from the bookstore but never touched in the last few months, going to a few movies alone, and buying bigger summer clothes because I can't fit into half of the ones from last year.

I'm done venting now.

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